I'm extremely frustrated! Last night I came in from work donning a new top. Nothing extravagent, expensive or that noticeable.

Since our finances merged I've fallen into that female trap of lying about the things I buy ('I've had it for ages' or 'it was in the sale' anyone?!). I had my story all worked out but last night he gave me a hug and asked, 'It's new isn't it?!'

I could have lied. In fact I should have lied but he seemed in such a good mood I didn't think it mattered. How wrong was I?! Off he went, ranting on about clearing it with him before I buy clothes, that I shouldn't be spending our money when we're planning a move and that I just bought a dvd (disc not player!! And that had been another drama) a week ago.

Usually I bite my lip and offer to take it back because at least then it blows over in time. The way it leaves me feeling like a total walkover is by the by. Last night I lost it against my better judgement. I wasn't angry but upset and as I sat there disecting our relationship I kept screaming at myself, 'why?! why are you putting yourself through this?! listen to what you're saying to him, you're not happy!'

It was horrible and his defiant nature just winds me up more. I poured my heart out to him to no avail. Suddenly everything was out there bare for him to see and he never blinked an eye. The horrible hour ended when he loaded on the pressure and said that I am the only thing in his life that makes him truly happy. Enter guilt and there I find myself hugging him and apologising... End of.